All with the aroma of my apple cinnamon candle wonderfully wafting throughout the room.
What a delightful way to spend the evening :)
Woke up from a nap, and then just did not want to get out of bed lol… So I’ve been on my laptop, doing this and that whilst laying down for the past 5 hours. Productive.
I’m not suicidal at all, it was just a passing thought. But with everything going on, I’m just…..so tired.
It’s been so long since I yelled at somebody like that…
The most painful part of it all was that I was finally able to confirm what I have suspected for the longest time. She showed me that she may “love me,” but it wouldn’t be that hard at all for her to just throw everything we have away.
After everything I’ve done for her, how much I have supported her when nobody else would. She could just throw it away, like it was nothing.
This would be so much simpler if I didn’t suck at visualizing 3D spaces.
I would kill so many people if I were an architect.
That it’s pretty much completely second nature to me? Words that other people would struggle to construct to encourage or cheer someone up just appear in my head and wisp from my mouth as easily as the breaths that precede it. It’s not even difficult at all really. Sometimes I feel like the way my words are received have such a deeper magnitude than the thought utilized to produce them. Is that a bad thing? Sometimes I feel like my seemingly personalized uplifters are even mass produced, so to speak, because of the differing degree of contemplation versus the level of satisfaction from each individual. That can’t be wrong, can it? I don’t know…
I’m such a fucking mess I even worry about the good things that I do in my life.